Sketch five

You wanted to subjugate and illuminate whatever pain had been inflicted upon you and as a man you chose control. Yes your soul sucking conquest and attempt at breaking the spirit. Your fit of madness and of rage that rattled the cage of your aggresssion yes in turn spilling your confession of lust onto my floor as you broke down the door leaving me no where to run to and no place to hide. And still years later i haven’t a soul in which i can confide your ever lurking presence within my mind.

By:Mj Gress

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Such desire for

The tricks and treats.

The whatever suits your fancy

And meets those needs.

Down on your knees.

Go on and quote the price

Gamble with the chance

Of them treating you nice.

For its flip, a spill

A roll of the dice.

 

By:Mj Gress

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Sentenced to Live…

Ah suicide..the once welcomed alternative to life. Through the overabundance of drink and the pills and the slice of a knife. Many times attempted yet death still not achieved. Here i am clean and sober so youd think id be relieved. But the feelings rush in without any label. Only to be described as a nightmare or some sort of twisted fable. And the thoughts, they twist around until my head aches. Not so unlike this rubberband that i keep around my wrist and snap until it breaks. Im suppose to surrender, im suppose to let go but im so afraid of the unknown. And so ive surrounded myself with people from the program but ffight daily with the thought of they really dont give a damn. It truly is a matter of changing ones way of thinking and no one ever promised itd be easier than drinking. So even when all is well on nights like tonight i find myself still putting up a fight. Ive got to learn to take the boxing gloves off and set them aside and allow the emotions to come and go and hold on through the ride. I now know that self hatred is my enemy and perhaps when i xan let go ill find some sense of serenity. For i know im loved and cared for now ive got to work on self love the center the core.

 

By:Mj Gress

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Vanished!

If i hold my tongue ill choke on my silence and isolate until i disappear. Ill become a ghost to the world and be known as the living dead, where my head acts as a trap with my thoughts being flaming arrows. The pain from my past lives on in the present much like a book that i cant seem to close with its pages torn and binding weak. And theres this fear that if i were to set it aflame id forget my name and lose any sense of identity that i may have had.

 

By: Mj Gress

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Sketch 30

To throw caution to the wind

And negate time.

Rendering it irrelevant

For these day to day gestures

Are nothing more

Than barricades to the mind.

Simply side steps of wasted time.

 

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The Words That Go Unspoken.

There’s a frame of mind that damages the soul, where our words go unspoken. For they get hidden behind false states of reality where they are masked with an illusion created out by delusions where all common sense and truth are locked away and keys swallowed whole. And as we bury it further with each passing day we hope to fake like nothing ever happened. So we let the games go on and put on that smile, the one with bullshit written all over it. The one that gets placed on our faces when we could cut the tension in the room with a knife that which represents all the walls we have put up throughout our lives. And after sitting around singing our hypocritical kumbaya’s we wonder and ponder over the two faced people surrounding us. We’ve given up our choice to express our voice and speak whats on our minds. The words that go unspoken.

 

By:Mj Gress

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Sketch 28

How does one explain it?

This unexplainable turn of event.

In which your new found love

Has now forced your feeling irrelevant.

Taking the matter

Into his own hands

To escape from the torture

Of living up to lifes demands.

For feeling too much

Beyond what any one should have to bare.

This be a risk that i must take

To ensure your knowing that i care.

And to what degree….

 

By: Mj Gress

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